UnMaSkeD
by OneLastRefrain
Summary: Bosco's thoughts about something that changed his life. (BoScO and CrUZ relationship) Read n' review )


Title: _U_n_ma_s_k**e_d_**_

Author: Nikki-snowflakeangel01

Rating: PG-13 for adult situations (suicide) and profanity.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. sigh I'd like to though.

Spoilers: Season 5 through Goodbye To All That.

Notes: This is another one of my one shot song fictions. The song is Figure .09 by Linkin Park. Written in Bosco's POV like usual. **_Bosco-Cruz_**_ relationship.I'm sorry if that's not your cup of tea. ; ) Read anyway. _

_Nothing' ever stops all these thoughts n' the pain attached to them_

_Sometimes I wonder why this is happening'_

_It's like nothing' I can do would distract me when_

_I think of how I shot myself in the back again_

_I hated __you._

I hated you for so many valid and yet so many unexplainable reasons and yet I still found myself wondering if you are _pleased with the person you had _become_, a person who was hiding under a mask from the world. One who __hid under a tough identity. But I was the only one you had revealed yourself too, wasn't I? You __unmasked yourself and let me see you, the person who needed just anyone in the world to listen, to care, __to love. _

_'Cuz from the infinite words I can say I_

_Put all pain you gave to me on display_

_But didn't realize instead of setting' it free I_

_Took what I hated and made it a part of me_

I can't seem to leave you alone though_, force you out of my mind, _my thoughts_, and my _fears_.  It's not _my_ fault that whenever I look at myself in the mirror, I see a __masked person, one that's hurt, dark, and beat to the ground. I see you in my own skin. _

_It never goes away_

You no longer leave me though. 

_It never goes away_

I can always feel your remorseful tears _burning my own eyes to escape. _

I can always feel that _anger_ that rids in the bottom of your stomach and the pain that you have had burdened on _your _shoulders with for so many long years. 

Only now, I can _understand_ you.

_And now_

_You've become a part of me_

_You'll always be right here_

_You've become a part of me_

_You'll always be my fear_

_I can't separate_

_Myself from what I've done_

_Giving up a part of me_

_I've let myself become you_

I wanted to tell you that I understand you; unlike I could before the 'accident.' I was just hoping that maybe you would be a bit happier that way, now that you have someone to share your pain with. Even in death.

Unwillingly, maybe this was just you're way of making me understand you a bit more, by taking that pistol (that .9 you had in your closet) and making it final. It was you're last 'tale'; you're last lesson to me. You just wanted someone to care about you. That's the way it always was, wasn't it? 

I'm just sorry I was too late to see.

_Hearing' your name the memories come back again_

_I remember when it started happening'_

_I see you n' every thought I had and then_

_The thoughts slowly found words attached to them_

Just maybe if I had listened more closely, really looked between the lines all that time we were together instead of focusing on planning how I would get back in your bed, I could have stopped it. Just maybe I would have been worth enough to you, to even think twice, to even hesitate, and put the gun down. 

_And I knew as they escaped away_

_I was committing' myself to em n' everyday_

_I regret saying' those things 'cuz now I see that I_

_Took what I hated and made it a part of me_

But I was too blind. 

I never even gave you a god damn chance to explain what had happened that night in the hotel room. I was selfish not too, all I thought about was how you had betrayed me, betrayed my respect for Faith. I couldn't give you another chance. 

That was just the last strand, right there. The last strand of beads was broken, and you no longer had anyone.

_It never goes away_

_It never goes away_

None of this matters anymore. I can't change time, as much as I'd kill to just tell you that I cared, to just tell you maybe I did _love you._

_And now_

_You've become a part of me_

_You'll always be right here_

_You've become a part of me_

_You'll always be my fear_

_I can't separate_

_Myself from what I've done_

_Giving up a part of me_

_I've let myself become you_

I set a single rose on to your gravestone. You would have been angry with me for doing this. Hell, I can feel your anger for even coming here to the cemetery. But it's not like it matters. I read your name over and over in my head. 

_Maritza Rosa-Lee Cruz_

I had to come though.

I had to apologize.

_Apologize to myself, to you, and to us. _

_Us.___

I know you didn't leave me though. 

You're just finally unmasked; an accent to the wind.

 But your soul will always be a part of _me._

_And now_

_You've become a part of me_

_You'll always be right here_

_You've become a part of me_

_You'll always be my fear_

_I can't separate_

_Myself from what I've done_

_Giving up a part of me_

_I've let myself become you_


End file.
